Snooki Is Very Much Single Again

Snooki just can’t catch a break. Whether she’s being punched in the kisser or getting denied the drunken affections of her housemates, it seems she’s forever doomed to do back handsprings in a sad, lonely, sexless hot tub for one. At least some part of the blame for this falls on the Snooks herself for being drawn like a magpie to flashy Ed Hardy accoutrements and enticingly pungent man-perfumes without stopping to consider how a potential mate might treat her. Until now, that is.

After growing tired of his fame whoring shenanigans, Snooki has facebook dumped sometime boyfriend Emilio Masella (an appropriate forum for someone so desirous of publicity). Although she’s always suspected he liked her for her TV fame and not her adorable moxie or tiny, awesome vagina, the last straw came when she found out he’d auditioned for MTV’s The Real World. There’s only room for one fame whore in this relationship, and Snooki got there way before you, bro.

When asked for comment on his public shitcanning, Masella shot TMZ this garbled message:

“All i kno is she was upset i tried out fornreal world nd left me a message sayin im single. Next i kno i wake up [Monday] morning and facebook says im single.”

Here’s hoping the tiny tumbler finds someone who likes Snooki for Snooki next time, and who maybe graduated elementary school as well.

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