Robert Pattinson’s New Non-Gay Movie

The same thing happened to Blake Lively when Gossip Girl turned into, “Oh, didn’t you hear? I’m the crazy bitch around here.” Instantly, Betty Suarez, Joan of Arcadia, and Rory Gilmore were shifted to the margins of the poster for Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, making room for a heretofore unknown blonde. And now that Twilight has officially propelled Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson into superstardom, movies that would have otherwise been relegated to cutting-room floors are seeing the light of day, thanks to the insatiable bloodsport of teen (and, yes, not teen) Stephenie Meyer fans. Even the e-mail subject line for Pattinson’s new quirky TV comedy How to Be reads “HOW TO BE WITH ROBERT PATTINSON.” (OMG, OMG, tell me now!! I almost ripped my computer out from the wall — imagine The Exorcist kid as a hormonal teen.

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Turns out IFC Festival Direct is simply promoting Oliver Irving’s film about a twentysomething failure played by Pattinson who loses his girlfriend (he tells his friend, “I am just so unhappy,” to which the friend replies, “I just don’t care”), loses his job (“I’m really sorry, but you just can’t work here anymore,” is met with, “I’m a volunteer!”), and enlists the help of a Canadian self-help guru to turn his life around.

And despite a hairstyle that channels Steve Coogan in Hamlet 2, which is certainly meant to undercut Pattinson’s inherent allure, the film looks quite charming. Oh, and Robert Pattinson’s in it!!

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