Ricki Lake is Baaaaaaaack!
I spent a lot of time during the summer between my seventh and eighth grade years sleeping until 3PM and staying up until four or five in the morning watching trashy television. My favorite, obviously, was The Ricki Lake Show. This was back in the innocent days of the mid- to late-’90s, when the most frequent topic of day-time television was not, "I’ve Got a Secret: I Slept With Your Man!" or "I Don’t Know Which of These Six Guys Is the Father of My Baby!" Instead, Ricki would bring on super-hot people (a relative term) who would confront their childhood bullies who made their high school days a living hell. "I used to be scrawny and nerdy, but look at my muuuuuussssscles!" they’d shout at their former tormenters, who sat in a state of awe, embarrassment, and sexual frustration. "That will be me someday," I thought.
Well, that didn’t happen (this is real life, after all), and I should have realized that life wouldn’t be all diamonds and pearls when Ricki Lake’s show was cancelled the following summer, leaving us with crap hosted by the likes of Jerry Springer and Maury Povich. But, great news! Ricki Lake is coming back on the air this fall! And the lady looks fantastic! ("Suck it!" I imagine she’s saying to the former executives who pressured her to lose weight and made her life in the ’90s a living hell. "I’m a 10 and you’re a zeeeeeeero!!!!")
Check out the promo video below:
I can’t decide which part is my favorite. Is it at the ten-second mark where the woman holding a baby who was presumably just standing there next to Ricki and was told to freak the fuck out? Or is it the gaggle of gays at the fourteen-second mark, all hovering around Ricki and showering her with affection? I like to think that in Ricki Lake’s fantasyland, she finds herself walking down the street and just strikin’ up convos with all of her girlfriends (we are all her girlfriends) about sex and relationships and weight loss and healthy lifestyles and motherhood (I have a lot of things to talk with Ricki about motherhood, obviously). You know, totally normal stuff to talk about with a famous stranger!