Peeing in Pools With Ryan Lochte

Since we all have Olympics fever, it’s finally time for me to acknowledge that Ryan Lochte exists. What a cutie! And also kind of a dummy (which is also his appeal, I suppose). But when he admitted last week that he pees in the pool, people lost their minds. Uh, duh, of course he pees in the pool.

Everybody pees in the pool. If you say you have not peed in a pool, you are a liar. Pools are there for swimming and for peeing in. Deal with it.

Luckily, the folks at Funny or Die recognize this, and they’ve made a new short featuring Ryan Lochte chattin’ about peein’. In pools.

Man, what a shocker that the dude who looks so hot in a speedo and swims real fast isn’t the most camera-ready when it comes to being engaging, huh? Can’t we get this guy and those gymnast Small Wonders to learn how to speak like a captivating human being when they’re on TV? The rest of us normal, lazy, unathletic Americans are counting on you for our entertainment now that these games are almost over!

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