Heidi Montag Claims to Work Out 14 Hours a Day

Scary Barbie-mannequin Heidi Montag told US Weekly that she works out for an astonishing 14 hours a day. Except it’s pretty certain she didn’t mean that since, to my knowledge, even professional athletes aren’t that hardcore.

Emphasis mine:

I’ve been working out from, like, 5 a.m. to 7 p.m. for two months now. I’ve been working out really hard because I had this pool party and I was like, I have to be in shape. And I was actually a lot overweight. It was the most I’ve ever been because I’ve kind of been in hiding eating pie with my husband and puppies, so I needed to get back in shape.

She totally meant 5 a.m. to 7 a.m., right? 5 a.m. to 7 p.m. is like running four marathons in a day. It’s like going to seven Bikram yoga classes back to back. What is really galling about this is that to Montag, “a lot overweight” apparently meant weighing 130 pounds at 5’2″. Montag took a year off from exercise after the 10 plastic surgeries she underwent in 2009, because “My breasts, because they’re so big, really needed some time. So I’m just starting to work out again after my surgery. Sometimes I get shooting pains, but I hear that’s normal.”

Wow. R.I.P., feminism. How did she fit in partying with Crystal Harris between all the gym-going?

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