These days I feel like every news story you come across raises a lot more questions than it answers. For instance: how? what? Such is the case with NY1’s brief hit on this bald hipster-looking guy who stole $90,000 out of someone’s car in Queens.

Honestly, I’d peg this man for a fixie bike thief before supposing he was a master of grand larceny, though I suppose “master” is a generous term when we’ve got such a clear picture of the guy. The main bafflement becomes: why on earth was there a car sitting around Flushing, Queens, with nearly a hundred grand sitting in it—in a plastic bag? The only thing more ridiculous would be a sack with a dollar sign.

Apparently, the man who had his car broken into is a “courier” who transports money from a gas station, but this seems like a pretty low-rent operation for so much money. I thought they had armored car services for this sort of thing? But nope, just driving a loose pile of cash around in your crappy sedan, that makes sense. 

I think we have to assume these profits were from an underground mafia card game. Let’s hope the police find you first, burglar.

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