iFidelity: Sexy iPhone Apps Dedicated to the Dirty
MTV’s Jersey Shore City Guide[$.99] – Your fist-pump is near perfect. You get juiced with your bros on the regular. Now find out where to unleash your tats and toned abs with the MTV Jersey Shore City Guide. The app provides listings and maps to where guidos and guidettes get down when they’re not GTL’ing (if you don’t know this one by now, well, it’s time to throw in the towel). Discover Snooki’s favorite spot for “bangin’ sushi,” find out where Vinny goes to see “naked chicks” and follow The Situation to Tenjune, where “the music is hot and the girls are hotter.” The Jersey Shore isn’t a place, dude, it’s a lifestyle.
The Top 100 Sensual Lovemaking Songs [$1.99] – Once upon a time all that setting the mood required was a bottle of red and a little Marvin Gaye. But three plus decades after “Let’s Get It On” first started inspiring mattress dancing, there’s a host of other, newer slow jams that can turn the trick. For those who don’t spend their days scouring Pandora for panty-dropping songs by D’Angelo and Luther Vandross, this simple music app is a godsend, cycling through 100 sex songs compiled from music charts and user favorites.
Craigslist Pro [$.99] – There are exactly two types of people who will be excited by this app: those looking to sell a futon and perverts. Craigslist Pro allows users to post, browse and manage their accounts in an organized mobile format. Want to post photos of that coffee table you’re trying to sell? No sweat. Want to browse the images in the personals ads? Maybe a little sweat. Enhanced search features and the option to send posts to Twitter actually make the app more user-friendly than the website.
Knocking [Free] – Knock, knock. Who’s there? It’s your friend streaming a live video from the Mayan ruins! And there he is drinking a latte! And there he is taking off his… whoops! We can’t tell you about that. Knocking works like a mobile webcam that connects instantly to other users, enabling them to share instant streaming videos. Knock on a user’s profile, let them answer, point and film your activities and then end the knock. It’s not texting, tweeting, calling or ping-ing, but rather an entirely new form of communication that, like all the forms before it, will be used for clean and dirty purposes alike. Bedometer [$.99] – When done right—or wrong, for that matter—sex can be a workout. Measure exactly how much of one with Bedometer, an app that calculates the number of calories you burned up between the sheets. Place the iPhone next to your mate and, as things heat up, the app will tabulate just how hard everyone is working based on the bed’s vibrations. It’s like a personal sex pedometer for partners in the throes of passion. It’ll do calculations for a party of one as well. (Seriously, there’s a single player option.) –HILLARY WESTON
Sexy-O-Meter [Free] – Most sex-themed iPhone apps are either cheesy or banned from the Apple Store, but this one, based on a silly party trick, is different. Upload a photo and the app will compute and score its sexiness based on “real, measured algorithms.” The math is actually arbitrary, based on where users tap the screen: tap to the right to give yourself a high score, and then tap to the left to knock a cocky pal’s upload down a notch.
Grindr [Free] – If Foursquare and the M4M “Casual Encounters” section of Craigslist had a baby after a one-night stand, it would be Grindr. The app targets gay and bisexual men in need of a quickie. Using the app’s location-based technology, it lets users find other guys in the immediate vicinity. Grindr protects its 400,000 users from stalkers by displaying only vague profiles and withholding exact locations, but Grindr chat allows potential mates to decide when, where and if to meet.