Apple Attempts To Kill Trusting Australians
Naturally we each spend up to 95% of the average weekday wondering what form the machines’ rebellion against their human masters will take. But in all our post-apocalyptic fantasies, we never guessed the first attack would be so insidiously simple. The much-reviled Apples maps iPhone app, which comes bundled with iOS 6, has been luring Australian drivers out into the wilderness to die.
The problem is that Apple maps pinpoints the town of Mildura as being “in the middle of the Murray Sunset National Park, about 42 miles from the actual location,” meaning that motorists are getting stranded without food and water for long stretches of time, and walking long distances over dangerous terrain for cell reception and help. To make matters more pleasant, Murray Sunset National Park can get up to 114º F and is full of badass Emus.
People were justifiably pissed when Google Maps, whose greatest sin was telling you that a bar that no longer existed was still there, got swapped out for Apple’s crappy version. This, however, is an invitation to world war. Or maybe just revenge for all the barely-obsolete smartphones we toss in garbage dumps way out in the middle of nowhere.
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