Jwoww from ‘Jersey Shore’ Launches a CLOTHING LINE
File this one under horrifying: Jersey Shore alumnae Jwoww is embarking into the world of fashion designer. That’s right, the reality tv star with a penchant for plunging necklines and crotch-grazing skirts is soon-to-be stocking her very own styles in a store near you. “JWOWW, one of the most fashion-forward Shore housemates, seems to be working on a clothing line,” says The Cut. According to a section titled “CLOTHING LINE” on her website (yes, she has a website), this sorry excuse for a shirt is “the ultimate in fashionable clothing.”
(‘’)Jwoww goes onto explain that she will soon be “reinventing the term ‘sexy sophisticated’,” which as a phrase is already prone to give one the willies. She continues: not only will it be “‘edgy’ and sexy,’ but it will make people of all ages and body type feel more confident in ‘the scene’.” That’s right, don’t have fake boobs or a toned tummy? No worries, Jwoww will custom make a top to fit you (how this is possible, I’m afraid, is beyond my realm of imagination). The best part: if you order one and send in a photo to Jwoww of yourself in the top, she’ll post your photo on her site. Unfortunately the loop of fabric being called a top does not come with the requisite Jersey Shore fake tanner, hair gel and pound of makeup.