There Is A God: Lifetime Casting For Anna Nicole Smith Story

It’s a shame that Lindsay Lohan blew her Lifetime original movie shot on Liz & Dick, the Elizabeth Taylor story. Another Lifetime original film is currently casting and LiLo really could have brought realism to the role. It’s the Anna Nicole Smith story, of course.

TMZ obtained the casting call sheet and the charicatures are as depressing as you would expect:

  • Anna Nicole Smith: "a pretty, but plain girl growing up in small town Texas" who "transformed herself though sheer willpower."
  • Her teenaged son Daniel: "wry, very cute and intelligent teenager" who "dislikes Howard K. Stern, whom he considers a slow-acting poison. … Danny seems to have picked up his mother’s pill popping habit" and "cuts his young life short."
  • Her mom Virgie: "a plain-looking deputy living in a hardscrabble Texas town … Virgie claims that men ruined her life."
  • Her billionaire ex-husband J. Howard Marshall: "skin going gray, head gone bald and liver spots everywhere" … a "pointlessness" dulls "the glint that used to be in his eyes."
  • Marshall’s son who battles Smith for money: "makes it his decision to DESTROY Anna" and "he viciously vows to dedicate all thirteen of his attorneys to making sure Anna never receives a dime."

Then again, there is no law saying LiLo can’t star in two Lifetime films. Dye her hair bleach blonde again, slap on some red lipstick, and she would make an excellent Anna Nicole, would she not? Oh, and Dina and Micheal would be so proud.

Obviously I will be watching the shit out of this film no matter who Lifetime casts in any of these roles.

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