Margaret Atwood and Carl Hiaasen: A Fictional Confab

Admit it, you’ve wondered what kind of conversation Margaret Atwood and Carl Hiassen might have. It’s OK, so have I. But soon, that curiosity will be sated. On September 17, the celebrated authors will come together for a highly anticipated tête-à-tête at the New York Public Library.

Atwood may drop some wisdom on her new tome, MaddAddam, the futurisitic finale of her dystopian series that started with 2003’s Oryx and Crake (a Booker Prize finalist) and continued in 2009 with The Year of the Flood (longlisted for the IMPAC Award). Hiaasen may talk about his latest  bestselling foray into crime fiction, 2013’s Bad Monkey, which New York Times critic Janet Maslin called "wall-to-wall hilarity."

But what if they speak using only lines from their own novels, say The Handmaid’s Tale (Atwood) and Strip Tease (Hiaasen)? I think it might go something like this:
 
Hiaasen: I love naked women, I truly do.
 
Atwood: You can think clearly only with your clothes on.
 
Hiaasen:  After what happened, yeah. You’re damn right.
 
Atwood: But who can remember pain, once it’s over? 
 
Hiaasen: How could I forget. You nearly bashed me in the skull.
 
Atwood: It was an accident.
 
Hiaasen: They said I’ve got to screw two guys in a hot tub and that’s all.
 
Atwood: I feel, as always, the urge to laugh, but not because I think it’s funny.
 
Hiaasen: My future is in shambles, but thank God you’re enjoying yourself.
 
Atwood: Maybe it isn’t about who can sit and who has to kneel or stand or lie down, legs spread open.
 
Hiaasen: Look, if you want to slow dance, I can’t be naked. That’s the law.
 
 
Tuesday, September 17, 2013, 7 p.m., $25
Stephen A. Schwarzman Building, Celeste Bartos Forum
New York Public Library
Fifth Avenue at 42nd Street

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