Illustration: Napkin Killa

Chances are you’ve got a frenemy to shop for this holiday season. It would look bad if you didn’t get them something… If you’re going to spend the money, you might as well send a message, too.

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Efva Attling Funky Paparazzi Ring, $470

No explanation needed.

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Woody Allen’s Magic in the Moonlight DVD, $19.99

One of the year’s biggest cinematic disasters, for your favorite disaster.

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Clinique Sonic System Purifying Cleansing Brush, $89

No, you’re not saying they have bad skin…

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The Future Perfect Maru Hand Mirror, $325

To suggest that someone takes a good, hard look at him or herself.

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Britney Survived Mug, $18

Let them infer the trainwreck-iness.

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Wine and Champagne Glass Candles, $13.99 – $19.99

A friendly reminder that perhaps some serenity, rather than booze, is what you should be enjoying in the New Year.

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Bob Fosse’s All That Jazz, $31.96

Image courtesy of Criterion Collection
Because the best gift you can give anyone is cinematic piece of your heart–one which happens to drive home the fact that if you’re going to be a disaster, you should probably also be a highly-productive genius.

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