7 Gifts to Get the Girlfriend or Boyfriend You’re Trying to Break up With
Illustration: Napkin Killa
It would be cruel to break up before the holidays… so say it with gifts.
Maurice Pialat’s We Won’t Grow Old Together DVD, $14.96
A wonderfully enjoyable way of saying, “I’m miserable and this is clearly not working.”
Wear or give this and it’ll be pretty clear you’re over it. The jumpsuit will also come in hand post-breakup.
French Porcelain Tissue Holder, $30
For those who are thinking ahead.
Nicolas Cage Pillow Case, $18.00
An frightening and easy way of saying, “We should be sleeping next to other people.”
The David Foster Wallace Reader, $17.55
A little something to fill the mind and pass the time in your soon to be former significant other’s newly single New Year.
FREDS at Barneys New York white and dark chocolate swirl popcorn, $12
For emotional eating.
Patron All Alone 3 Month Club, $259
It’s actually called “Patron All Alone.” Your soon to be ex is going to want this. It’s the gift that’ll keep on giving… for three months.