FX has just ordered its third season of American Horror Story, Ryan Murphy’s horror series starring an ensemble cast of Jessica Lange, Zachary Quinto, Evan Peters and other regulars. Given how the first two seasons have spanned every horror staple (and un-staple) from ghosts to sadists to aliens to Nazis, I worry that Murphy might be at a loss for ideas. After the jump, here’s a couple of AHS: Season 3 suggestions.

1. American Horror Story: Phantom Of The Opera — Lange reprises her season two role as a fallen showgirl, only this time she’s the stage mother of Lily Rabe, a soprano being haunted by the frisky ghost of Zachary Quinto.

2. American Horror Story: Mole People — Evan Peters is a hipster Q train conductor whose cars are trapped underground late at night during a blackout, where he must battle the hungry mole people. Hungry for human flesh, that is.

3. American Horror Story: Wal-mart On Black Friday — This one is self-explanatory. 

4. American Horror Story: Boarding School — Taissa Farmiga and Peters reprise their roles as star-crossed lovers, this time at a haunted boarding school for troubled kids in rural upstate Connecticut. Lange plays a crazy local woman who constantly warns the headmaster, played by Quinto, that trouble is afoot. Connie Britton rejoins the cast as an idealistic teacher trying to do right by the kids. Obviously, she is the first to die. And then Farmiga steals her gorgeous hair for a creepy art project.

5. American Horror Story: Bordello — Jessica Lange runs a whorehouse (um, is there a more P.C. term for this?) staffed by Britton, Rabe, and Chloe Sevigny. One by one, the women are murdered and no one has any idea whether it’s aliens, ghosts, or just Dylan McDermott (obviously, a john) being super fucked up again. 

Lest you think any of these ideas are too ridiculous … have you seen the last few episodes of Asylum? 

Contact the author of this post at Jessica.Wakeman@Gmail.com. Follow me on Twitter.