It’s time to check in with Rihanna again, is it? Excellent. “Cold Case Love” is holding up very well after roughly fourteen thousand listens, despite an overall blah album. But we can’t expect everyone to slap together a solid album of bangers. Not everyone’s Annie, are they? Anyway. For her next mission, Rihanna wants to help engineer America’s Next Top Pop Star … by poaching one from the UK!

A quick recap: This is Cheryl Cole, capitalizing on the Soviet kitsch style most recently perpetuated by Kylie Minogue, Victoria Beckham, and Mila Kunis, performing her first solo single, “Fight For This Love.”

Rihanna apparently told The Mirror of the first member of Girls Aloud to go solo: “Cheryl is cute and incredible. I think I could help break her in the US. She’d wow them — I’d love to have her on tour, in Europe or America.”

It should be noted that a previous endorsement by Rihanna of a British girlband has proved to be a kiss of death for that respective band.

Jay-Z has already expressed interest in helping Cheryl Cole plot her big American break. So when that happens, some of you may wish to be prepared.