Our Interns Explain the Meaning of Lady Gaga’s ‘Alejandro’ Video

You aren’t the only one baffled by Lady Gaga’s just-released video for her single “Alejandro.” Our interns also tried to wrap their heads around the machine gun bras, Three Stooges haircuts, and overt religious imagery. What does it all mean? Here they are, in a conversation over GChat, trying to figure it all out.

Keely: First thoughts. She’s not going to be showing her face around church anymore, that’s for sure. Didn’t she grow up Catholic? Bethany: Yeah, when she was 11 she attended Convent of the Sacred Heart, a private Roman Catholic school. I don’t think she’ll be welcome there for a while Bethany: I wonder what the Pope will think about her creative expression. Keely: Did you understand that, btw? Like, one second there’s a funeral and the next there are like fifty writhing naked bodies. I don’t get it. Bethany: I thought it was about her telling this Alejandro fellow that she is over him. Keely: Wait, according to an MTV interview she did, this song was about her… fear of sex? Uh, clearly she’s conquered that one. Bethany: I guess you have to reenact “hot like Mexico,” somehow right? Keely: fair enough. Bethany: It had some serious eye candy, but the 8:43min video started to drown. I can only hear the name Alejandro so many times! Keely: I like how she got extra naked just in time to sing “her boyfriend’s like her dad, just like her dad.” A+ with the subtlety there, Gaga not that I even want to know what she’s implying. Bethany: Yeah, I don’t know, and when it got to the part where she got gangbanged by the shirtless dance crew I was totally confused. It went from one man to a bundle. Keely: Well, she does mention three names in the song (Alejandro, Fernando, Roberto). Maybe it’s a…metaphorical allusion to, like, a whole harem? Bethany: Or, it could be a triptych metaphor comparing Alejandro, Fernando, and Roberto to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit/Ghost. Keely: Wow, way to get intellectual on me! Elevates the anti-Catholic symbolism in the video to a whole new level, doesn’t it? Bethany: Yeah, I just feel like she’s stomping on the Catholic church (real original huh?) The point that sold it for me was when she swallowed the rosary whole. Keely: Wait, I got it! If the three guys represent the Father/Son/Holy Spirit she’s singing about how she wants to leave them, and then in the video she makes it pretty clear she’s done with that badness… Bethany: Well isn’t the whole album about past lovers (monsters)? Keely: yeah, I kinda get that the song’s probably more about fear of commitment than about fear of sex because clearly the latter phobia is one she hasn’t had for a looooooooong time Bethany: I agree. I mean, some of her influences are the porn industry and old school gore films… Keely: which is why we love her Bethany: or hate to love her. Keely: hahaha I’m unashamed of my love for the Gaga okay, maybe a little I still don’t understaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Bethany: Yeah, there are so many different conclusions that you can take away from the video Keely: Do you remember this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puPC_y-shNw&feature=fvst can we just say that ‘Alejandro’ is also about the Illuminati and pretend it makes sense? Bethany: sí.

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