Chubby Checker Does Not Want His Name Associated With Your Penis Size

The best way to find out how big a man’s penis, in my experience, is to just take a look, although I can imagine that some of you are much less extroverted than I am. There are a few other ways to tell—bulges and such—but those are never concrete, are they? That’s why someone at now-defunct company Magic Apps invented the Chubby Checker, which would estimate the size of a man’s penis based on his shoe size. I guess people are much cooler with asking strangers how big their feet are, because that’s definitely not an awkward question. Anyway, rock and roll legend Chubby Checker is not thrilled about it.

Checker, whose real name is Ernest Evans, is now suing Hewlett-Packard:

Checker’s lawyers are seeking half a billion dollars for the "irreparable damage and harm" caused by the Chubby Checker, an app for Hewlett-Packard’s Palm OS platform. "This lawsuit is about preserving the integrity and legacy of a man who has spent years working hard at his musical craft and has earned the position of one of the greatest musical entertainers of all time," explained lawyer Willie Gary.

The Chubby Checker was removed from all official Palm and Hewlett-Packard listings in September 2012, the companies told WebOSNation. But an old listing for the program lays out its raison d’être: "Any of you ladies out there just start seeing someone new and wondering what the size of there [sic] member is? … All you need to do is find out the man’s shoe size and plug it in and … there is no need for disappointment or surprise." The developers, a defunct studio called Magic Apps, boast of the app’s international appeal: the Chubby Checker accepts UK, US and European shoe sizes.

Perhaps the makers of the Chubby Checker could just change the name? Dick Detector? Peen Probe? Erection Examiner? I know, I know; none of those have the same ring to them.

Follow Tyler Coates on Twitter.

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