Well, it’s the afternoon after Pride. How are your hangovers doing? Well, hold onto your hats, because your brains are about to effin’ explode, Scanners-style. Broadway.com reports the somewhat ageless entertainer is bringing her life story onto the Great White Way—and she’ll be portraying herself in the starring role. 

Says the source: 

According to her Twitter feed, Cher is writing a Broadway-bound musical about her life, which will feature herself and two other actresses in the title role: A young performer will portray the singer from before she met Sonny Bono through the Sonny & Cher years; a second will follow her solo career from 1977 through the 1999 Believe tour; and Cher herself will play a "wise" character looking back and communicating with the younger versions of herself. The new musical will include the legendary recording artist’s biggest hits. No further casting, creative team members or timeline has been announced.

This is some deeply layered shit, you guys. 

(Note: I took a quick peak at Cher’s Twitter to see if I could find the actual tweet that makes these claims, but only found things like "Gotta work out!Pay no atten 2 Tpublicans!They mean less than nothing 2 me!They think millions on foodstampShould b left by the road Hungry." Nope! No idea what that means.)

Not being a big Cher fan (what? deal with it), but being weapons-grade gay when it comes to stupid Broadway spectacles, I have to say, I will see the hell out of this show if it actually comes to fruition. Maybe twice! But I have two questions: if Cher can’t go on as Elder Cher, will she have an understudy? Secondly, will there be a big second-act musical number about SIlkwood? Oh man, I am dying for a Silkwood number.