● According to newly revealed details from a petition for a restraining order filed by Frances Bean against her mom, Courtney Love, in 2009, Frances’s "cat died after getting entangled in piles of Etsy fabrics, boxes of paperwork, trash, and other possessions." And then, adding insult to injury, Frances’ dog ate a bunch of Courtney’s pills and died. [TheFix]

● Word has it that Simon Cowell is looking to replace Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger with Beyoncé. He is willing to pay $100 million per year to sit on next season’s X Factor judges’ bench. Seems like a fair trade, no? [MTO]

● Snooki did show "a lot of cleavage" yesterday when she left the SiriusXM studios after a taping with Opus and Anthony, but she did not let even a little nip slip. [Celebuzz/Us]

● The New York Post‘s restaurant critic is not having it with Joanne, the restaurant just opened by Lady Gaga’s parents, where the staff seemed "plucked from the ‘burbs" and the grilled calamari with bitter greens and radicchio was "the worst [he’s] had in a lifetime of squid-mongering." And worse yet, Lady Gaga wasn’t even there. [NYP]

● If nothing else, Ja Rule fancy’s prison an "amazing" place to make new friends in jail, like his own Hevey D ("corporate greed poster-boy") and Kox ("discraced pol"). "Outside, you don’t meet guys like this every day. This place is amazing," he says. [NYDN]

● In case you were wondering where Michelle Obama gets all the strength she needs to support her Commander in Chief husband, we would like to direct you to this video of her beating Ellen DeGeneres in an impromptu push-up contest. [HollywoodLife]