Afternoon Links: Chris Brown’s Lousy New Pick-Up Line, Amanda Knox’s Pay Day

● Word has it that Chris Brown’s new move is to tell girls, "I promise I won’t beat you!" Smoooooth. [PageSix]

● Chloe Sevigny is set to star as a stay-at-home mother who is kidnapped while video chatting with her husband in an upcoming episode of Law and Order: SVU. [TV Guide]

● Daniel Radcliffe showed of his, uh, sexy tongue tricks on Spanish television. [DailyMail]

● Amanda Knox’s memoir sold to HarperCollins for $4 million. You can stop feeling sorry for her now. [NYT]

● Apparently Nicki Minaj’s Grammy performance was just a preview for "what was to come." "You know how people write plays and movies? That’s what I did," she explains. "And so I have to perform it on the set in which it would be in the movie, right?" We’re watching. [RapFix]

● All 288 Bart Simpson scribed chalkboard quotes, in one place, at last. [Buzzfeed]

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