Here’s some news to file away in the Your Childhood Is Continuously Ruined file: MGM is planning a live-action adaptation of Where’s Waldo? For those of you who have dressed as Waldo (or his girlfriend Wilma) for Halloween, you should probably keep your eye out for Craigslist ads calling for extras, as there will surely be a need for a few hundred nobodies in red and white-striped sweaters.
The film, based on the very popular books by Martin Handford that you probably remember checking out from your elementary school’s library (were YOU the person who always circled Waldo in pen?), is just in development according to Vulture, and the project does not yet have any big names attached.
The film also doesn’t yet have a plot, but I’m assuming it’ll be something like this: Waldo takes his dog Woof to the dog park, and is astonished to discover that the park is full with other people who are wearing red and white-striped sweaters who are walking their red and white-striped sweater-clad Jack Russell terriers. Waldo naturally mistakes another dog for Wood and takes him home, and then Woof has to go find Waldo.
"Bark bark!" Woof will ask of everyone on the street ("Where’s Waldo?" the subtitles will translate), until he runs into Waldo’s pals Wanda and Wilma, identical twins who also wear red and white-striped sweaters. The gals will help Woof find Waldo, first stopping at the mall, then the amusement park, then City Hall, then the home of Wizard Whitebeard, the friendly magician who lives in town. "Where’s Waldo?" they’ll ask him. "Why not try his apartment?" the wizard will reply. "You do know where he lives, right? Because you guys are friends?"
(You’re welcome, Hollywood.)