‘Nymphomaniac’ Will Not Premiere at Cannes After All, Producers Call It von Trier’s ‘Masterpiece’

Earlier today, I went on about Magnolia acquiring domestic rights to Lars von Trier’s upcoming sexual odyssey Nymphomaniac, saying that it would see its premiere at Cannes this spring. But as it turns out, the film will not be screening at the festival after all—but not for the reasons you might expect. 

Fortunately, the news has nothing to do with von Trier being considered persona non grata after 2011’s Nazi snafu. No, the reason lies in the fact that Nymphomaniac will simply fail to make the submission deadline for the festival, March 14th. Producer and CEO of Zentrope Entertainments Peter Aalbæk Jensen claims, "There is absolutely no bad blood between us."

"Four editors were working around the clock to meet the Cannes deadline, but we had to give it up – after 268 script pages, 11 weeks of shooting and with 100 hours of material it would have been [a race] to finish the two films in time for the festival," says Jensen. But of course, this only shrouds the film in that much more thrill and anticipation—exacerbated by the fact that TrustNordisk Managing Director Rikke Ennis has declared that once Nymphomaniac has its premiere, "it "will rock the entire cinema landscape," with Jensen adding that this is, "von Trier’s most ambitious film to date, probably his masterpiece…it brings a smile to my face watching lust and laughter go hand in hand with such a drama."

Okay great, just do what you have to do, fella—we just need this as soon as possible.

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