Not Adam Lambert: 6 Men Anna Kendrick Should Take to the Oscars

So I just glanced down at my nonexistent wristwatch and y’all know what time it is? Time to put to bed unsavory rumors that find one of the world’s worst pop singers will escort an Oscar nominee down the red carpet. So here you go: Adam Lambert will not be Up in the Air‘s Anna Kendrick plus-one to the Oscars next month. I know it’s cute to think, “LOL! What if a boy who likes other boys goes with a — gasp! — lady to a public function where all the town will be a-flutter?” And to be fair, it wouldn’t exactly be the first time, because everyone in Hollywood may be gay anyway, their ladies playing the role of well-dressed beard. And with this role priming her to slide up into the A-list, it only seems sensible that Kendrick, to the utter despair of some gay men, should elect one to be her pinkest, glitteriest accessory. After all, it’s a piece of well-iced bling that helps one tart stand out from the next at the Oscars.

There’s always 30 Rock‘s newest addition: Cheyenne Jackson. Despite being Kendrick’s senior by 10 years, Jackson’s still decidedly easy on the eyes and on good terms with the press that a strut down the red carpet could benefit his TV and film career. It’s probably encouraging that there’s a spike of openly gay actors appear on TV, then, because apart from Jackson, Kendrick could try to ask a favor from Ugly Betty‘s Michael Urie or Brothers & Sisters‘ Luke Macfarlane.

Although if she wanted to defect from the mainstream, other similarly dazzling red carpet baubles could also include Rufus Wainwright, the Scissor Sisters’ Jake Shears, and Brit-pop huckster Will Young, because well, why not? Sadly, they’d all probably be harder to convince along for the ride.

But do any of these men have any kind of deep intimate connection to Kendrick? The type that may find them and Kendrick watching Mean Girls on a stormy Sunday night and splitting a Ritter Sport bar? Probably not. But since when were the Oscars about staying within your comfort zones?

Above, Kendrick is pictured with the sparkliest bling that she won’t get to take to the Oscars: Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson.

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