Harry Potter Role-Players Don’t Want to Be Placed in the Loser House

Harry Potter megafans have been flocking to Pottermore, an interactive game site based on the books by J.K. Rowling. What is essentially a Second Life for the kind of people who dressed up as wizards and witches for the films’ opening nights, the site will provide additional content not found in the books or the movies, including background information about Harry Potter characters. All of this takes place within the world of Harry and his chums, and users will even get to enroll in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, proving that a major overhaul of the education system in the United States might not be so bad. More importantly, Pottermore hopefuls are worried that they’ll be placed in an uncool house of wizards and witches!

If you don’t know anything about Harry Potter and need the following explanation, I salute you (and I also wonder where the hell you’ve been for the last ten years). But anyway: each student at Hogwarts is “sorted” into a house by a hat with a bad attitude and a propensity for rhyme. Harry and his pals are placed in Gryffindor, so obviously everyone wants to be there. Slytherin is the house where all of the bad guys lived (which is kind of odd, when you think about it, because wouldn’t they just get rid of that house entirely? I dunno, how about you sort them out of the school system, Sorting Hat?). Finally, there are Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, which are inconsequential, really, and are not important at all to the seven novels of the series. And Hufflepuff is a stupid name.

The sorting process for Pottermore is obviously a hot topic among anxious Potterheads:

Everyone who joins Pottermore will be sorted based on how they answer a series of questions. As Rowling explains in a video on the site, all sortings are final.

Bob Alberti of Minneapolis ended up in Gryffindor, an assignment he called a pleasant surprise.

“I really thought I was Slytherin material,” he said.

“Slytherin material”? Like, “having a capacity for evil”?

Maggie Schultz from St. Paul Park joined him in Gryffindor.

“I was just glad I didn’t end up in Hufflepuff,” she said.

Oh, honey, you all deserve to be in Hufflepuff.

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