Breaking: Woody Allen Is Anti-Murder

Woody Allen, Larry David, Patricia Clarkson, and Evan Rachel Wood sat in the ballroom of the Regency today in Manhattan to answer questions about their new movie Whatever Works. The questions were typical press conference fluff until Jefferey Wells of Hollywood Elsewhere stood up and tried to use the misanthropic nature of the film to get the panel to comment on two recent tragic shootings. He was of course referring to the murder of abortion doctor George Tiller and yesterday’s frightening attack at the Holocaust Museum in Washington DC. When his preface ended with a question to the effect of, “Can you comment on the murders?” the stars and the rest of the reporters sat there in a kind of stunned silence at the shift in tone. Then Woody Allen showed us just why he’s a comedy legend, with a perfectly timed and perfectly delivered answer.

“Personally, I’m against the murders,” he said, straight-faced. Cue uproarious, elated laughter.

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