Finding Myself in Kim Kardashian: Hollywood

This week Kim Kardashian released an iOS/Android game where you “join Kim Kardashian on a red carpet adventure” as her new and less famous friend as you climb your way up to the a-list by basically encroaching on Kim’s territory taking on appearance gigs and magazine features. After “kustomizing” your own character you meet Kim at your lame retail job and she obviously takes you along to a photoshoot which then launches your career as a socialite/ model/ actress/ celebrity/ nothing/ everything/ whatever. In order to gain fans you take on v grueling jobs like appearances at clubs or magazine shoots where you exchange your energy to improve your job performance by doing tasks like “mingling” and “striking a pose”.

This game really isn’t good but at the same time somewhat addicting and sort of a glammed-up LA version of my life. A good portion of my “work” consists of hosting parties or occasionally getting photographed for things. Guys, my IRL energy is often used for “mingling” and “striking a pose”, except I’m not killing it like Kim and this game has taught me all the reasons why.

As soon as I beat the game (and spend every last penny I have buying the $4.99 energy refills instead of waiting for them, duh) it’s possible I should leave New York and head towards somewhere sexy and warm with money and great Mexican food like LA, Miami, or Vegas (all locations you can visit in Kim Kardashian: Hollywood).

basking
A preview of what I might look like in a hotter and also #hotter city by Rachel Wark

routeThis is what it looks like in the game when you fly from NY seemingly east to LA

Once I’m there I will find myself a manager, a publicist, and a cool new look. My current look is too Shawn Hunter from Boy Meets World, I need to look more like Kanye or maybe Kris Jenner. The game also taught me you can totally get paid to do stuff with charities, there is so much money to be made in charity work! I’ll get my manager to set me up with an appearance gig at a charity event for sure. I’m also so done being a nodel, I want to be a model.

talent
If Kim thinks I have “talent” in the game then that must carry over IRL.

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She says “Bible.” These are the kinds of things I need to start doing

All-in-all this game has been really instrumental in finding myself. If you play I recommend skipping the location-based looping music and Kim’s occasional voice acting and instead maybe listen to trap remixes of Iggy Azalea or Kim’s old hit “Jam (Turn It Up)”, these will improve your gaming experience for sure. Be sure to also get in touch with Kim via social media and let her know what you think. Bible!

instacomment
I was sure to give Kimberly my two cents.

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