Tiger Woods’ Endorsement Deals Crumbling

Two weeks. That’s all we needed to see some sort major fall-out from the who-flung-dungery of this whole Tiger Woods fiasco. Previously: Ten chicks a-peepin’, a few ER trips, and a race-fueled animosity. And now, two less endorsement deals and a career that’s well on its way to capsizing.

Since the end of November, it turns out all televised bits of Tiger Woods shilling things you may not need have been cruelly yanked from TV. I suppose Woods telling people to nurse their hangovers with Gatorade or hack away at their recession beards with Gillette razors would naturally lead consumers to similarly sext unsavory cocktail waitresses with absolutely zero discretion.

Gatorade, in fact, is going so far as to discontinue a drink specially brewed out of Tiger’s sweat, phoenix tears, and unicorn blood. Though, quite a few big brands would have to pull out in order to make a dent in Woods’ well-endorsed empire. Though as we learned the last time a celebrity was silly enough to hurt someone he loved while the entire goddamn world was watching: Even the publicity from losing a landmark deal is enough to singe critical parts of a celebrity’s retirement fund.

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