This Is What It’s Like to Have Sex With Terry Richardson

Ever wondered what it’s really like to have sex with pervy teen model enthusiast and photographer Terry Richardson? Wonder no more: XOJane has an account from writer Caroline Marguerite, who slept with Richardson after meeting him at a party at Ben Stiller’s house. She claims, somewhat confusedly, to have enjoyed it: “When I allowed myself to be sexually exploited by Terry, I found him to be the perfect gentleman.”

Basically, the author of the post became entranced with Richardson after seeing a photo of him simulating sex with a sheep back in the 90s. This photo “changed her life” and “twisted her impressionable mind.”

Flash forward to a couple years ago. The author is at a party with Richardson, introduces herself, gives him her number, and then he invites her to his hotel the next day. The rest is…well, read for yourself:

The curtains remained open as we did the things that sheep like to do. I coyly apologized for my bountiful rear (much shapelier than Kate Moss’s), but he seemed to like it very well. He pulled my hind quarters close to his crotch, lavishing praise upon my abundant rump, his face contorted in wild animal ecstasy. Naked, on all fours, with Terry Richardson gripping my haunches, I surveyed the magnificent views from the window, the twinkling lights and the palm trees in silhouette, and fell in love with Los Angeles all over again.

“Bountiful rear” and “abundant rump” are two phrases that should never, ever appear in the same paragraph. Nor should the phrase “his face contorted in wild animal ecstasy” be applied to Terry Richardson, if only for my own sanity.

Well, anyway. She and Terry still text sometimes. Also she went on to have sex with Morrissey’s tour manager, she’d like you to know. Anything else, Caroline? Okay. We can all carry on with our day now.

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