Ten Seasonal Beer Flavors I Won’t Be Sampling

Besides anything that reeks of pumpkin, the brewers of which are inarguably going to hell for their blasphemy, these are the autumn brews I shan’t be ordering at my local gastropub in the coming months:

Sierra Nevada Eggplant-and-Garlic Pilsner

Captain Lawrence Liquid Artichokes

Pabst Bleu Cheese Ribbon

Dogfish 120 Minute Patchouli-Infused IPA

Blue Moon Sweet Tofurkey Spice

A jar of wet martini olives

Bud Light Thyme

Sam Adams Plum Tomato Wheat

Dos Equis Egg-Whites Amber

Sea Bass Ale

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