Taylor Swift’s Teppanayaki Tantrum Primes Backlash

Oh lord. It’s happening. We’ve finally come full circle with Taylor Swift. Having fallen in love with her, America is now primed to eject her from its affections–after all, American Idol is in progress. So it’s sad to see that unable to support so much precious metal on her frail, frail frame, Swift has finally started exhibiting some major signs of strain. It was clear that this particular day–when Swift was at a teppanayaki restaurant in Brisbane– was not a fairytale. Far from it, in fact! A chef accidentally dropped an egg on her during the food presentation. At which point, pipes of smoke shot out of Swift’s ears, her eyes turned red, her lips parted to emit a bloodcurdling scream, and then the earth split open, devouring all of us whole. Yes, folks, the Taylor Swift backlash, after a false start last year, may finally have the steam to get off the ground!

But let’s play the incident back in slo-mo–as reported from an onlooker to The Daily Telegraph:

The chef asked her if she was ready to catch the egg, she said yes and it fell on her. She completely flipped out and ranted and raved.

But the joke (yolk?) was on the chef. When he asked Swift if she was ready to catch the rice, she said she was. But then she flung the rice back at the chef. What a class act!

Surely Swift knows that should she want a media-friendly breakdown, she has only three courses of action: jail, living out the The L Word dream, or fisticuffs with a stationary vehicle.

Oh Taylor Swift. We will not forget your mark on pop culture. May you have a wildly productive life leading tours around Dollywood here on out.

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