Unless you’re absolutely oblivious to pop culture, you know that the cast of MTV’s Jersey Shore is the best and worst thing to happen to this world, ever. When people named “Snooki” and “The Situation” are worthy of a Barbara Walters interview, is there really any hope left for humanity? Of course not, now that Snooki Slippers are here. Following in the fashionable (I use that term loosely) footsteps of co-star JWoww, Snooki (whose real name is Nicole Polizzi) is endorsing two styles of slippers that are identical to the versions worn in her drunken haze of existence on Jersey Shore. Available in leopard and pink and white, these aren’t your everyday slippers. Why, you ask? Because they have LACES! Literally.

This is the type of thing that you might want to give to someone who you really, really dislike or at least are on the fence about—in which case you’re permitted to go into full-blown hatred if they actually end up liking the slippers. Definitely beats a bag of coal, no?