Robert Pattinson Thinks Robert Pattinson Used to Be Ugly

imageWhy, hey there. Did you know that Robert Pattinson was once a baby? I know, I know! Balderdash! But Life & Style, in a bid to prove that they were overlooked at last week’s National Magazine Awards, has run some baby pictures to illustrate this impossibility. They even address Twilight thesp as “Robert Thomas Pattinson.” However, as legions of under-aged would-be paramours cooed “Aww, what a cute baby!” and “Oh dear, I hope he didn’t have foot-and-mouth disease!”, Pattinson coyly dismissed the pix.

When the leaked baby photos were brought to his attention, he remarked, “Really? When I looked like a real … weirdo?” And then added, “I swear to god that’s illegal! It’s just so embarrassing.” Which I can’t help but echo loudly. Like when jerks tag you in Facebook photos from your awkward high school days and then you decide there is no proper recourse but to de-friend them because they can’t respect your right to bury your “ugly years.” We feel you, R-Patz. However, we all remain flummoxed about your decision not to be calendar beefcake. Even George Clooney’s done that.

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