Rebecca Black Will Be Richer Than You

Here’s some heartening news: Despite the fact that feedback on her famously awful “Friday” video made Rebecca Black cry, the 13-year-old is now a millionaire. The song has gotten over 2 million downloads on iTunes and an astronomical number of YouTube hits. Forbes crunched the numbers. She’s crying all the way to the bank!

Rebecca Black is probably going to rake in over $1 million this year. Pretty good return on her parents’ investment of $2,000, and Rebecca’s investment of a video that will be absolutely mortifying in three years when her parents bring it out at parties.

Don’t get all snobby about Rebecca’s newfound riches — this is awesome. She deserves it for the all the nation-wide bullying she’s received since “Friday” dropped. Although, I sincerely hope there’s no contract with “label” Ark Music Factory that would sign over most of cash to them. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was.

Her mother has said that Rebecca’s first earnings will go to Japan disaster relief and school arts organizations. She’s also planning to record an acoustic version of “Friday” to show the world that her voice does not require aggressive AutoTuning. She told the Daily Beast, “I want to show people there’s more to me than they think.” I just want to give her a big hug and tell her that, soon, adolescence will be over, and she’ll realize that this singing thing is sort of silly and that she really wants to be a doctor or something.

Then again, if that duet with Justin Bieber works out, this could be an extended juggernaut. In the end, he’s not much less silly than she is. He just has better producers and a close personal relationship with Usher.

I leave you with my favorite “Friday” cover so far:

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