Porn Sites Ruin Natalie Portman for the Rest of Us

Natalie Portman and naked are two things that go together like pizza crust and creamy garlic dipping sauce. But Portman wants it to be known that from now on she’ll be keeping the dipping sauce all to herself. The actress recently told The Hindustan Times that she will no longer take it all off on screen, because the last time she did, in the Wes Anderson short Hotel Chevalier, the stills ended up on porno sites. Well, duh! Did she think the pornosphere ignored A-list nudity and only trafficked in Gina Lee Nolan sex tapes? Good news for Wes Anderson though! Hotel Chevalier is finally getting some much-deserved attention after its came-and-went release on iTunes in 2007: “natalie portman hotel chevalier pics” has been topping Google Trends all day long. See Natalie, that’s what happens when you remind people that naked pictures of you exist.

“It really depressed me that half of every review on the film was about the nudity. It made me think I shouldn’t have done it,” said Portman about her participation in Chevalier. “I’m not prudish about nudity. I think it’s beautiful in films, and sex is such a big part of life. My issue is that I feel it takes something away from what you’re doing when the focus is put on the wrong thing. I just don’t want to do something that will end up as a screen grab on a porn site.” Does this mean that after some girl-on-girl with Mila Kunis, she’ll return to puritanical roles only? We hope not.

Also, this isn’t nude, it’s not a screen grab, and it’s certainly not on a porn site, but somehow it manages to be much, much worse.

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