Nobody Say Anything About Dennis Rodman’s North Korean Espionage Mission

Guys, please don’t mess this up. The CIA has been working for years on getting an American basketball star into North Korea to seriously disrupt their nuclear research program, and the more you talk about it, the more chance Dennis Rodman has of being exposed as our greatest and most daring spy. So shhhhh.

Honestly I shouldn’t even have to explain this to you, god, but Dennis Rodman has been working covertly for the past thirty years. You think there was really some tattooed, green-haired, star forward for the Chicago Bulls known as “The Worm”? Please. That was just the perfect cover. The one he needed to infiltrate a brutal dictatorship.

Now he’s this close to crippling North Korea’s military infrastructure and all you can do is blab about his historic journey to act as diplomat to the isolated country and possibly meet its autocratic ruler, Kim Jong-un. Well, shove it! This is a dangerous mission, and Rodman doesn’t need you drawing undue attention to his nefarious plot. Come on. Play it cool.   

Follow Miles Klee on Twitter.

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