Nic Cage to Fight Crime For Real

Every time I read some ridiculous news story on The Onion A.V. Club, I have to check it like five times to make sure those Onion tricksters aren’t pulling a fast one on me by sneaking some of their made up stories into the factual section of the site. Well I checked, and this story, which reports that actor Nicolas Cage made a speech in Vienna today about how he will use his bizarre new role as the UN’s Goodwill Ambassador for Global Justice to “stop being an actor and start taking action,” is actually real.

I usually don’t feel great about celebrities being granted figurehead political roles for PR purposes, but if there’s one actor I’d like to see fight actual crime it’s Nicolas Cage. Sure, he may have no “credentials,” but anyone whose ever seen The Rock knows this guy has brains and balls of steel. Or what about his snakeskin-wearing, Elvis-channeling, Laura Dern-loving sailor in David Lynche’s Wild at Heart?

Maybe I should make an admission. I really brought this up for the sole reason that it would allow me to make a tangential argument for the excellence of Nicolas Cage’s career between the years 1990 and 1995, which included starring roles in such classics as Leaving Las Vegas, The Rock, Con Air, Face Off, Snake Eyes, and 8mm. This man carry a movie! Now let’s see if he can carry the world.

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