New York: Top 10 Places to Watch the Super Bowl (Without Really Watching)

There’s a huge segment of people that aren’t going to give a shit which way the wind blows come Sunday’s Super Bowl: anyone who isn’t a Cardinals fan (they have fans that aren’t Will Leitch?), anyone who isn’t a Steelers fan (they have fans that aren’t Obama?), anyone who doesn’t watch football, anyone who doesn’t have money on these games, anyone who doesn’t understand football, anybody who’d rather be having brunch at Balthazar, and … essentially, much of New York. Yet, because New Yorkers are trained monkeys who invest in rituals — or because they don’t want to spend Sunday afternoon alone — they’re going to have to make their way out of the apartment at some point to get some Super Bowl action in. That being said, if you’ve got to go, go right — here, we present our favorite places to “watch” the Super Bowl that aren’t insufferable sports bars.

10. Lucky Cheng’s (East Village) – Two words: tranny karaoke. Clearly the absolute alternative. You want to reject the status quo? Look no further. 9. Marshall Stack (East Village) – If there’s a big game on, they’ll show it on a flat screen tucked into a corner of the ceiling that just barely gets color — just enough to look at out of the corner of your eye and turn away in sincere disinterest. They will never — never — turn the music off, though. 8. Tribeca Grand Hotel (Tribeca) – Starting at 6 p.m., the chic hotel bar will be offering wings, snacks, and $26 buckets of beer for those who want to do this thing slightly more dressed-up than typical. 7. Lucky Strike Lanes (Midtown West) – Sure, they’ll be showing the game, but why not have your own Super “Bowl'” Har. [That joke never gets old! See #8.- ed.] No, really: an all-day party, but you have to RSVP to get in. We suggest arriving fairly early to get in on the lane action. 6. Rick’s Cabaret (Garment District) – Endorsed by many a BlackBook staffer, call it a “cabaret,” call it whatever you want, the fact is there’re naked women there, and they will dance for you for money. Not for the family. 5. Barcade (Williamsburg) – The most anti-sports (and anti-social) of New York scenes might be found here on Super Bowl Sunday: hipsters popping quarters in Tapper, drinking limited-release bottled beers. 4. Corner Bistro (West Village) – Pissed off nearly everybody who’s ever held this place in any esteem at all when they installed flatscreens in the place. Worth getting a seat in the back of the house and saddling up for the evening, though — you can always check the score, go back to your booth, and feel like you’re in a totally separate bar. 3. New York Sports Clubs (Various Locations) – No, really: every other treadmill has a TV. You can sit on your ass, get fat, eat snacks, get sauced up, and try to create conversation about a game nobody cares about, or you can go the route of wellness while having said game right in front of you to talk about for watercooler purposes the next day. And you can go with friends, too. 2. Cherry Tavern (East Village) – Infamous EV pickup spot with a pool table, a bad jukebox, and really, really cheap booze. Really cheap. Like, self-destructive cheap. 1. New York City Rescue Mission (Tribeca) – You can watch the Super Bowl and help out those less fortunate than you. No, we’re totally serious about this. We know you’re thinking about Rick’s. Think about somebody other than Rick, for once.
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