● TMZ has footage of an Usher sex tape possibly stolen from his car in 2009. For an pop star who trades in sexy ballads, could this sort of virile leak a blessing? [TMZ ● Alec Baldwin has some sage advice for Charlie Sheen, from one guy on TV to another. “Take a nap. Get a shower. Call Chuck … Write a huge check to the B’Nai Birth,” he begins. Then “beg for your job back.” Loud and clear, Alec. [HuffPost] ● Someone at SxSW took a blurry cellphone picture of Jake Gyllenhaal at a urinal. Next year we expect at least one band to be named after the incident. [TMZ] ● All those lucky enough to be in Austin for SXSW just got a little luckier: Kanye West has been confirmed as a performer at VEVO Power Station’s event next Saturday. Maybe you’ll want to get in line now? [Idolator]

● James Franco tweeted a picture of maybe his penis but probably his finger. He also posted a bunch of pictures of his latest endeavors in, uh, banana art. [James Franco] ● Beauty secrets from the band that taught a generation of boys to look cool: The Strokes’ Nick Valensi only washes his hair 10 times a year, instead squeezing lemon juice onto his scalp intermittently: “I like to think it helps with the pH balance,” he said. Also, Fabrizio got a hair cut. [T Magazine] ● Better with age: wine, cheese, and rockstars. [T Magazine]