Another day, another lesson from the prosts working my local all-hours bar: vomiting on the practical pumps of morning commuters rushing for the train, now totally acceptable. The stigma of ante meridiem boozing, like panties in public, is a thing of the past — even the New York Times says so. In turn, early bird tipplers like Cobble Hill’s Clover Club and East Village tequila den Mayahuel are teaching brunchers that ordering a mimosa is akin to coming out as Tiger Woods’ fourth mistress. Tacky, yo. Because in the past Ed Hardy did not exist, mixologists are naturally looking back to the 19th century for inspiration. “You always read about these ‘eye-openers,’ ‘fog-cutters,’ ‘phlegm-cutters,’ ‘morning glories,’” Fort Defiance owner St. John Frizell tells the Times. “They were arguably more popular than cocktails at night.”

Also, water gave people the plague, so gin was a safer bet. In New Orleans, America’s least prudish city, daylight drinking never lost its luster. The Times posits that sunrise libations must be either nutritional or effervescent, and the Big Easy has classic ‘tails to fulfill both stipulations. Bourbon Milk Punch, available at Fort Defiance, has a fourth of an egg white and is therefore good for you, while the Ramos Gin Fizz is bubbling with citrus. Either promises to morph morning drudgeries like wrestling with pregnant women for subway seats into hilarious performance art.

Bourbon Milk Punch 2 oz bourbon 2 oz whole milk 1 oz heavy cream 1/2 oz vanilla extract 1/2 oz simple syrup 1/4 of 1 egg white

Add all ingredients to a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake until frothy. Strain into a frosted rocks glass. Garnish with freshly grated nutmeg.

Ramos Gin Fizz 1 1/4 oz dry gin 3 oz whole milk 1/4 of l egg white 1 tbs powdered sugar 3 dashes orange flower water 3 dashes lemon juice 2 dashes lime juice

Add all ingredients to a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake until frothy. Strain into a highball glass.

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