Megan Fox’s Freaky Thumbs

Do you find Megan Fox attractive? Enjoy her sexxy boobs and hot face? Maybe you’ve read a few interviews with her, and believe her to be a charming young lady to boot. What if I showed you pictorial proof of her freaky-deaky midget thumbs? Eeew, gross! You’d never do her with a thumb like that, let alone two, amirite?

(‘DiggThis’)TMZ.com has put up a gallery of 26-count ’em-26 photos of her monstrous deformity in their “hot bods” gallery, which I like to think of as TMZ’s version of “listicles without commentary.” Therein we see the dreaded thumbs throwing the horns, resting coyly on Megan’s pouty mouth, picking her perfect teeth, and suggestively grazing her bustline. Get away from those cute, popular body parts, stump-thumbs!

This all begs the question of why Megan Fox, the babe-liest frankenbabe ever to grace the pages of Maxim, would let such a bugaboo mar her beauty? The girl’s never shied away from having a little work done, whether to fix those drab, regular-sized lips or shave a nice square shape into that dowdy round chin of hers. Maybe when her mom dipped her in the river Styx, she held her by her little baby thumbs, which then failed to grow up big and sexy. Or maybe she’s adhering to the immortal words of Lord Bacon, as popularized by Edgar Allen Poe, whom, as you know, all bikini models love to read: “There is no exquisite beauty…without some strangeness in the proportion.”

Or maybe the answer lies in a blog called “World of Clubbed Thumbs,” in which one Mary writes: “I don’t know of any cosmetic surgery, that deals with club thumbs…Anyway remember that we are among the special people, that could be of royal blood line.” Keep tellin’ yourself that, clubby! At least we’ve still got Jessica Alba to fap to.

Latest in Archive

Archive

Watch + Listen: SHAED’s New Single/Video ‘Once Upon a Time’ is Hauntingly Beautiful

Archive

A Monumental Woman: New Doc ‘Ursula von Rydingsvard: Into Her Own’ Tells the Story of One of Our Greatest Contemporary Sculptors

Archive

This Happened: Vanessa Paradis Arrives in Full Chanel to Deauville American Film Festival

Archive

Please Buy Restaurant Gift Certificates…NOW

Archive

Peter, Bjorn & John Will Do a 36-Hour Live Stream ‘Festival’ From INGRID Studio

Archive

Women’s History Month: DC’s Hamilton Hotel Unveils Timely ‘Suffrage Suite’

Archive

Kristen Stewart Gets Punky in New Jean Baptiste Mondino Shot Chanel Campaign

Archive

The Beginner’s Guide To Adding Art To Your Home