Malia & Sasha Obama’s French Toast Rule: 5 Tips for the Aspiring White House Intern

imageIf you’re like a roadie for Grateful Dead or Tori Amos when it comes to Life After the Campaign Trail, consider a career as a White House intern. Not only does this put you that much closer to the Obamas, Mr. Stalker, but it also ideally positions you to follow in Monica Lewinsky’s Manolos. Naturally, I’m referring to her line of handbags, not that other incident. Here are a few key tips to help you get through the rigorous vetting process.

● Given her love for runway fashion, be sure to read the tags carefully on First Lady Michelle Obama’s dresses when stuck on laundry detail. ● Familiarize yourself with Kenyan customs so as not to offend Obama’s grandmother when she drops by for a visit. Impress her by cooking up a marvelous mutton medley. ● And while you’re in the kitchen, bear in mind that Malia and Sasha Obama prefer French toast to Fruit Loops for breakfast. ● Show your true stalker colors gratitude for unpaid employment by buying the Commander-in-Chief and the First Lady DVD box sets of their favorite television shows. ● But keeping the Obamas happy means will also mean running the occasional errand for the Vice President. So stock up on plenty of Crest Whitestrips for Joe Biden.

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