● After a video of Miley Cyrus smoking salvia from a bong while listening to the band Bush made everyone with a pulse smile, critics in California are pushing for an all-out ban, claiming, “Miley is a star and young kids are going to emulate her behavior.” Bongs and Bush for everyone! [TMZ] ● Chris Rock told jokes to calm a woman when her water broke and she went into labor in a Neiman Marcus department store. Expect an HBO special within the year. [Us Weekly] ● Jwoww of Jersey Shore is writing a book of dating rules. [Page Six]

● Nicole Richie and Joel Madden were married over the weekend — two kids and four years later — in the presence of a giant circus elephant. Other guests included Gwen Stefani and her husband Gavin Rossdale, who hopefully strummed Bush songs while everyone smoked salvia. [People] ● Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift allegedly met at a dinner set up by Gywneth Paltrow, who will doubtlessly be held responsible on Swift’s eventual break-up album. [Us Weekly] ● Michael Jackson fans are protesting a television show about his autopsy, which might as well be called The Year 2009. [TMZ]