● O.J. Simpson’s old lawyer, Robert Shapiro, will now be representing America’s new Most Wanted: Lindsay Lohan. White Bronco is what she calls cocaine, though. [TMZ] ● Joaquin Phoenix’s highly anticipated documentary about his life as a rapper has a release date. Slated for September, it’s unfortunately before the end of the world. [Deadline] ● Whoopi Goldberg will not stop defending Mel Gibson. [PopEater]

● With Edward Norton thrown by the wayside, Mark Ruffalo is poised to become the next Incredible Hulk. He’ll just have to spend the next few months bench pressing his wife. [NYP] ● In order to attend the The Hills series finale party, Spencer Pratt wore a wig and fake white beard, obviously fooling everyone. [HuffPo] ● Kelly Osbourne and her fiance, whom no one has ever heard of, have split amid reports that he cheated. He’s 20 years old, making him 13 when Kelly became a reality television star. [People]