● Kristen Stewart says that her and Robert Pattinson “totally have sex. Finally!” She means in a Twilight movie, and yet somehow, that’s realer than real. [Starpulse] ● Bottomfeeder Perez Hilton is in hot water over an alleged Miley Cyrus “upskirt” photograph, due to the fact that she is 17-years-old and he is spreading photos of her privates. Dudes like that do poorly in prison. [Salon] ● Google tried really hard to give Justin Bieber syphilis. [Gawker]

● The Situation, of Jersey Shore and abs fame, has a new rap single, because of course he does. The world can always use another Marky Mark Wahlberg. [Celebuzz] ● The trailer for the new Sofia Coppola movie Somewhere not only introduces us to a new Fanning child, but indicates that sometime soon we’re going to all like Stephen Dorff, which is weird. [Apple] ● Megan Fox is mimicking lovemaking with a mannequin. [Superficial]