● No, John Mayer, Jessica Simpson will not accept your apology for saying you wanted to snort her like a drug because the sex was so good. “Sexual napalm,” you said! What kind of girl do you think she is? [NYP] ● When Facebook malfunctioned, sending hundreds of private messages to random strangers, they could’ve ruined marriages, friendships and ultimately lives. But other people’s business makes for a hell of a voyeuristic blog post. [Gawker] ● If Saturday seems unbearably far away, enjoy these Zach Galifianakis promos for Saturday Night Live. [Videogum]

● Apple’s attempt to cut down on naughty apps in the iTunes store has actually led to a huge increase in dirty sales. It’s like they say: the more you try to cover the cleavage, the more people will pay $1.99 to see boobs. [Salon] ● A now suspended air traffic controller at New York City’s JFK airport let a child direct a plane. Then, the next day, he let a different child direct a different plane. It’s easy, apparently! [Daily Intel] ● Jimi Hendrix has a new album coming out March 9th. Yes, the dead one. [Vulture]