Links: Anna Nicole Smith Gets Her Own WikiLeak, Lindsay Lohan’s Rehab Freakout

● One of the diplomatic cables made public by WikiLeaks reveals that Anna Nicole Smith hit the Bahamas like a “hurricane” when she “enticed” locals and “wreaked havoc” on the political system, toppling leaders. Seriously. [CBS] ● Because Pauly D “embodies both qualities” of the “unique and genuine” Jersey Shore cast, he has earned the show’s first official spin-off. Also, “spin-off” works really well for DJ puns. [EW] ● Though Chelsea Handler took heat for railing on Angelina Jolie while defend Jennifer Aniston’s honor, Aniston just wants Handler to chill. [PopEater]

● Lindsay Lohan allegedly missed her curfew, refused a breathalyzer, fought for control of two phones, and called a worker a “cunt bitch,” according to Dawn Holland, the Betty Ford Clinic employee who has since been fired for accepting money from TMZ. Might we suggest a televised cage-match, resulting in relevance and cash for both parties? [TMZ, Radar] ● Johnny Depp took his kids backstage at a Justin Bieber show while wearing his Jack Sparrow costume from Pirates of the Caribbean — why not? [Page Six] ● Ozzy Osbourne is “getting a bit sick of” Lady Gaga. Apparently, he’s also sick of not getting much press. [Us Weekly]

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