It’s Really A Slow News Day When The Biggest Story Is That A Famous Lady Is Pregnant
How does one classify the news of Kate Middleton’s recently announced pregnancy? Well, it’s not really "politics," as she has very little to do with that. And it’s not really "health and beauty," either, because putting the news of a famous lady’s fetus seems, I dunno, kinda weird next to stories about having a nervous breakdown in public and how 5 Hour Energy will probably cause a "spontaneous abortion." (The latter would certainly be in bad taste next to Princess Kate’s pregnancy news.) Of course, Google News, the aggregate of all breaking news alerts that I tend to look at, has it figured out. It’s entertainment.
Sure, what else is royalty good for these days? As one brilliant Twitter user pointed out, Princess Kate has fulfilled her duty of getting knocked up so that we can all watch eagerly as photographers follow her around, taking shots of her ever-growing belly, all in the name of the patriarchal system of the monarchy that only serves as a reason for people to flock to London to look at the place where the queen lives. So, good job, Google News, for at least being honest about how worthless this news really is:
I mean, really, people. Two famous people had sex and made another soon-to-be famous person. We should all be so proud.
Also, I think it’s obvious that I’m tagging this one as "Fashion."
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