How Not To Find Love In New York

Nobody said dating in New York—let alone online dating—would be easy. In fact I think there are probably a couple billion words floating around the Internet on that exact topic. But surely putting out a Craigslist ad for an “Online Dating Surrogate” won’t help. Or will it? (Answer: still no.)

To explain a bit further: this weekend a self-described “successful entrepreneur” whipped up a job posting, as he “needs” a “discerning woman to handle online dating communications for him for roughly an hour per day.” That’s correct: he is so busy entrepeneurializing that he cannot even procrastinate on eHarmony now and then. The employee—who must be a “pretty, thin, educated female in her 20s or 30s”—will survey dating sites, picking favorites and exchanging messages on behalf of this visionary young go-getter. Pay: a cool $100 per week.

Kind of interesting that he’s basing this work hire on more or less the same shallow criteria he’d use for actual romantic involvement. I’d be too scared to show up for this interview lest that turn out to be a date itself. And if he’s for real about this “position,” doesn’t he see what’ll happen? The Surrogate will accidentally fall in love with whomever she’s messaging, and the two of them will run off to Canada to start a new life. Sometimes they will think about the clueless manchild who brought them together. But not often.

[To find a place to impress the pants off your your next date, visit the BlackBook New York Guide; More by Miles Klee]

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