Don’t Mention The New York Marathon Right Now

Um, just don’t. Don’t even form an opinion. Don’t check out #NYCMarathon on Twitter right now. Don’t find out if it’s still on or canceled or what changes are possibly in the works. Don’t try to figure out where it starts, or when, or ask your marathon-running friends if they’re still going to run it. Don’t start looking up news about Staten Island. HEY, I said DON’T.

Do not suggest an alternative to the marathon as it’s currently scheduled (once again, do not find out how it’s currently scheduled). Do not start researching prior marathons disrupted by disasters, natural or otherwise. Do not think about taking up running yourself, finally, in order to drop a few pounds. Do not glance out the window and try to assess current weather conditions.

By no means should you attempt to get inside Mike Bloomberg’s head, or anyone else’s, for that matter. Fail to play Devil’s advocate. Avoid other humans altogether. Leave the apartment at your own risk. Annihilate any thoughts that pass through your skull. Go back to sleep. Try not to write a blog post about any of this.

Follow Miles Klee on Twitter.

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