BlackBook Nightlife Investigations: Austria’s Apres Ski Scene

The nice thing about being on a junket in Austria on Audi’s dime — which you can read about here, but you can read more about it on this blog come Monday, when I’ll tell you all about how I flew out here on Business Class, raced cars on ice and did it for free — is not only that I’m actually on this junket, on work time, but that I’m on this junket in a foreign land, with a few extra moments to devote to BlackBook‘s special cross-section of travel and nightlife. So, in the interest of “work,” I ventured out into the town to see how the locals do the do. With a few fellow junketeers, we went out to the lovely Kaprun, Austria, which is about an hour outside of Salzberg, on the first night, and found out what Austria’s apres ski scene was like.

Pavilion had a huge banner on the outside that said APRES SKI, which meant, you know, it was probably an Apres bar. It also had disco lights and raging techno blasting, so there was that. The four junketeers entered Pavillion — a round room halved in two, with one side as a “dance floor” and the other acting as more of a traditional beer (“bier”?) bar — to this song.

It’s been stuck in my head ever since. And not because I enjoy anything about it.

The bar was filled with cigarette smoke and Germans and Austrians, singing and laughing along to this track, which is apparently, as a translation would have it, fairly epic, despite its totally nonsense music video. As interpreted by Google Translate:

Amsterdam Come, we go to Amsterdam I know that nothing can happen to us You and I, we are still in control We long sat on the sinking ship

“Stay, I’ve never said How, you asked me then? Love has totally failed In Amsterdam Amsterdam

This endeared the people of this bar to me, after the fact. I still want to bludgeon the person responsible for this “song,” however.

On the less annoying side, everyone seemed to be friends! And they were complete strangers who had just been skiing together, from what I could gather (observed: introductory conversation). In fact, that was another thing I noticed about all the people doing skiing here! They were of all stripes. And Kaprun is, as it would be, a fairly famous Austrian skiing destination. And I’m glad to know that Austria’s big skiing destinations aren’t like ours. There aren’t any luxe hotels or restaurants here, like, say, Aspen, Sun Valley, Park City, or any of the rest of America’s chichi skiing destinations. And if this place — which was raging — could be taken to be indicative of the rest of Austria’s skiing scene (which, as a dumbass American, I’m wont to assume, though am fairly certain it actually is), this also endears Austria’s skiing scene to me. Because there was so little getting in the way of people getting plastered and bonding over a common, shared experience at 6pm.

And then I left because I didn’t understand any German, and had to buy an adapter for the silly European plugs. And then I sent my bosses this email.

From: Foster Kamer Sent: Tue 1/5/2010 5:34 PM To: Chris Cc: Willa Subject: RE: ice driver

Hello from Austria. I’m exhausted. I’ll put something up in EE. Should I do one post or break it up into two? Just got on the internets after having to seek out an adapter in KAPRUN and buying WiFi, which is where we are. Everyone is speaking German on the TV, I don’t get it. Trenchant Observation: “Schnitzel” is just a fancy word for “Chicken Cutlet” which you can pretty much get at every bodega, but they’re OBSESSED with it here. Also, I walked around to seek out some local scenes and I came across a bar called APRES, appropriately, slammed with people at 6PM, disco lights raging, many young, all screaming along to a song now jammed into my head. I had a beer there and left. Also, guys wear T-Shirts tucked in here. What’s with that? I thought only retarded kids did that.

Over and out,

CONCLUSION: AUSTRIA’S APRES SKI SCENE HAS FAR LESS BULLSHIT THAN THOSE SCENES BELONGING TO MANY OF AMERICA’S LUXURY SKIING DESTINATIONS. BUT ALSO HAS ANNOYING TECHNO-TRANCE-POP, MUCH LIKE THE REST OF THIS PART OF THE WORLD. OH, AND, LOTS OF PEOPLE SPEAKING LANGUAGES YOU PROBABLY DON’T UNDERSTAND.

INVESTIGATION: CLOSED. For now.

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